LOOKING BETWEEN THE LINES

Introduction

             My life has been pretty average, for the most part, but I still feel like there is still a lot to tell about my path and where that leads me to today. I was born in Berkeley, California where I lived the first half of my life in Concord and the second,  in Oakland. Concord was a great time for me because it put me around kids who were very bright and helped me develop more at a younger age. Spending six years at the same school, sounds amazing right? Well, most of those good times don’t come from being in the school, they come from being out of it. ACLC has been a great mold for helping me become better at certain aspects of life but for the most part, I ”grew up” because of things I did outside of school. I decided to join a summer program called SMASH during my ninth grade year of high school. This program means a lot to me because, without it, I would not truly have been the person I am today. 
Personal Qualities, Work Habits, and Attitudes 
             I have struggled throughout the years with feeling confident about the work I do and in my abilities as a whole. Praising someone else and telling them that their work is amazing, is easy for me, but I am always the hardest on myself. I have been criticized so much throughout my life that it’s hard to accept when I did a good job on an assignment or project. Most of my feelings are internal, so it’s easy to put on a fake smile when I need to and continue on with my day. I work through these thoughts and feelings however and make sure to get my work done to the best of my ability. The one area I do make sure I am truly myself is when explaining my beliefs about the topics I discuss. I am a very stubborn person so if I believe in something, changing my mind is hard to do without facts. Arguing is not my style however if my partner or groups reasoning is sound then I’ll agree and help to make the assignment in their view. Most group projects have been with friends so collaborating was usually easy and not too much of an issue. The best thing about group projects is being able to laugh with the people you work with. Humor is the best emotion that a person can display. Having a good sense of humor is something that can help ease the tension in a lot of group settings and make the group more sociable with one another. Everyone is able to get a good laugh and start working together in a more efficient way than if everyone was silent the whole time. Humor is the savior of all group projects. 
New Basics
       I have spent a lot of my life inside my head. What I mean by this is that I am a person who deals with a lot of anxiety and I’m always having to snap myself out of thinking about every little thing I do; “Did I do that assignment correctly?” or “Did I say the right thing in that situation?” are the most common. While my anxiety has gotten in the way of me listen and respond in social situations, I’ve made it a factor to never let it affect me in the classroom. In class, if I feel myself starting to get lost in my thoughts, I snap myself out of it quickly and continue listening and working. If a question comes up or someone needs my help, I do my best to “be there.” I want to be able to help others when they need it and make sure my facilitators know that I am always attentive in their classes. The good side to always being inside my head is that I worry about my hygiene and health all the time. I have seen first hand what it looks like to not keep up with hygiene and it’s something that I never want to fall behind on. To me, looking my best is how I am able to feel better about myself in all aspects, physically and mentally. The physical side of my health is something that I try to stay on top of but it can get hard. The most I can hope to do is try and cut down how many times I’ll eat out per week and when I’ll eat. “Should I go to the donut shop today or wait until after school to eat something that will most likely be better for me?” I will usually have to say to myself. The mental side is still a work in progress but something that I am working hard to correct.

Thinking and Reasoning Skills
        This idea of visualizing your future and planning for isn’t a strong suit of mine. While I could write a whole paper on what my life could be like, I have no clue what the future holds. My thinking skills are very unique though; I can come up with a lot of different ideas about topics relatively quickly. I would not describe what I do as creative thinking, but it is a close interpretation of it. I am able to use my imagination in a way that can sometimes benefit me, and sometimes not. What I mean by that is that overthinking causes me to become distracted and take away from my learning or work time. The benefits of this, however, outweigh the negatives and allow me to excel in when it comes to time management. A good example is since I overthink everything, I always want to be ahead of my homework and project and complete them in a timely manner. I can think about the work that I have to do and see what is the easiest one to do, so I can get it done in a short amount of time and lessen the stress on myself.  Overthinking is a good tool for school when I can focus it and use to help me get things done in a sufficient amount of time. I was able to complete a biology project I had last in with a weeks time left to turn it in and I was able to do that because of my anxiety. Visualizing, or seeing scenarios and problems in my mind basically, is another aspect of my brain that I can use in a lot of different situations. If someone is explaining a topic, depending on what the topic is, of course, I can “see” what the person is talking about. I can look at the situation from their view and figure out how to assess it better. One area that I do struggle with using my mind’s eye, is math. Math is not a fun subject and figuring out the way certain graphs should look or how they need to move, this does pose a challenge a good deal of the time. Luckily, I have a lot of support in math and I can overcome the challenges and figure out how things look if given enough time. A college finance project that I had in math last year was something that I had a month to do. While it took me some to figure everything out, I was able to pull everything together after asking for help. Having a strong mind's eye is something I thought would hinder me in life. I figured that always being stuck trying to figure out how things look rather truly focusing on the task would stop me from excelling in certain subjects. I can see now that that being able to visualize situations helps me understand people and their stories better. 
Interpersonal Skills/Relationships
        I can say with confidence that I do view myself as a leader who can lead others when needed and who can follow others when needed. To me, being a leader does not always mean taking the spotlight and showing how great you are leading a team. You have to be able to listen to others and work with them in order to get the best possible outcome for the group. Some examples from previous years would be coordinating powerpoints in various groups, picking up the slack if one of my members was struggling to get their part done, and contributing my ideas to a discussion when needed. Being a leader also means that I work with many people from a lot of different backgrounds. Diversity is a huge part of the world, and my life, today. Myself being a person of color, I feel that it is easier for me to be able to relate to a lot of the people that I have worked with before; they were people of color and most, if not all of them, have become some of my closest friends. Diversity is a big part of who I am as a person and I feel that it only adds to my abilities to be able to work with others, no matter where they come from. 
Technology
    Technology is the biggest revolution for mankind since the making of the internet. Technology surrounds every single one of us and there is no choice but for us to embrace it and make it own. Me personally I choose to use technology to make doing my work easier in school. I am able to write essays, look up information, and learn various topics all from the comfort of my home usually. While technology usually looks perfect and never seems to have any glaring problems, there are those days where I need to figure out what may be causing a problem with my computer or computers I have come across. I’ve had to figure out why my mic didn’t work with a certain app, find certain settings to adjust my brightness on my monitor and help my friends with their tech issues as well. Even with all of the problems, technology is still the greatest tool for me and a lot of other people. 
Conclusion

      That is my spiel about myself and what I have learned over the years, the skills I have gained and refined, and information to help you understand who I am. I was able to learn a lot about myself from this and really look deep into myself to explain a good chunk of my life story. While my story seems pretty common, I think that I have gained a lot from the experiences I’ve been able to have. From gaining friends I’ll talk to for life to having an open outlook on life that I will use forever; I am glad to have been able to look over that journey.